Archive for the ‘Patriots’ Category

Shocker: The Pats have no class

October 28, 2007

Leading 38-0 with nine minutes to play Tom Brady is still in the football game. He’s going deep and winging the ball all over the field. It’s fourth and 1 from the five yard line and Brady is motioning that they should go for it. Really? Because you do know that you’re up 38 points. . . Across the field Joe Gibbs wears an astonished look on his face. A hilarious mixture of fury and wonder.

Brady QB sneaks for the first down. He then throws a touchdown to Wes Welker to take a 45 point lead. The Patriots finally pull the offensive starters, but they continue to the throw the ball with backup QB Matt Cassel.

I am stunned at what I just saw. Did I imagine this?

UPDATED: Mike Freeman of weighs in on this issue. Interesting stuff. I love how the Pats act so confused about what the proper conduct is in this situation:

When asked about the two fourth-down plays specifically, Belichick said: “What do you want us to do, kick a field goal?”

Well, yeah. When did that become a crime against humanity?

“It’s 38-0,” he added. “It’s fourth down. (We’re) just out there playing. (We’re) just out there playing.”


Kravitz takes on the Pats

April 30, 2007

In a very wussy way, Kravitz has gone against the sports media to question the signing of Randy Moss. Not a very strong stand, but for him it is a start.

My stand is slightly stronger: I am going to issue something called the Gonzalez challenge. I challenge Randy Moss to double the production of the Colts’ third wide receiver, rookie Anthony Gonzalez. Moss is supposedly is going to be the Pats #1 reciever, and as some sites are now predicting a sure-fire Hall of Famer, so he should have no problem gaining twice the yards, catches, and scores of a rookie wide receiver who may not play much in his first season.

To give you a point of reference: Ben Utecht was the Colts third most productive passing option (non-RB) in 2006 and ended up with 37 catches for 377 yards and no scores. Doubling these numbers should be a breeze. If Randy passes this simple test I will concede the season to the Pats, as ESPN already has. Personally I’d still rather have Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne, call me crazy.

Patriots trade for Randy Moss

April 29, 2007

And the desperation continues for the three-time world champs. . .

The Patriots have traded their fourth round pick for 30 year-old, former superstar Randy Moss. Going into his tenth season Moss has averaged 50 catches over his last three seasons while struggling with injuries. How far has Moss fallen? A fourth round pick? That says it all. Unfortunately, Moss’s contract is gigantic. As part of a trade, Moss would restructure and perhaps even extend his current contract, which calls for base salaries of $9.75 million in 2007 and $11.25 million in 2008.

This morning guys at ESPN continued the “New England is having the greatest off-season ever” hype with all five analysts on screen penciling them in as Super Bowl Champions next season.

Here’s a list of New England’s recent veteran acquisitions:

1. Sammy Morris RB: Age 30
2. Donte Stallworth WR: Age 26
3. Kelly Washington WR: Age 27
4. Kyle Brady TE: Age 35
5. Randy Moss WR: Age 30
6. Adalius Thomas LB: Age 30
7. Wes Welker WR: Age 25

Average age: 29 The Patriots better win it all this season like everyone and their mom will predict, because going forward they have added a lot of mileage to a roster that was already one of the NFL’s oldest.

Deshawn Zombie Comments: I am absolutely giddy over this news. New England has finally jumped the shark. Randy Moss ISN’T ANY GOOD ANY MORE. He’s toxic and will suck royally in NE destroying the fabric of their offense. Best of all, when Brady has another season exactly like every other season he’s ever had, people will finally shut up about him not having receivers. This move says that the Pats are betting the house on this year because their window is closing. This will be Brady’s last trip to the playoffs for a long time. This is the BEST news a Colts fan could hope for.

Remember that Randy Moss is NOT the Randy Moss of 8 years ago that was young, healthy, played in a dome, and had the whole offense built around him. This move is way more “Redskinesque” than Patriots-like. NE has to complete restructure their offense now that they have 2 deep WR and lost Daniel Graham at TE. Brady is a west-coast O QB. This is going to be a disaster.

If you want an objective opinion about this check out this article by (who else) the footballoutsiders.
They are more optimistic about Moss than I am, but still agree that this is not the slam dunk 1600 yards and 15 TDs that some bean eaters are envisioning.

Bill Simmons – "Legitimately" Effeminate

March 24, 2007

Bill Simmons is at times very funny and seemingly an all right guy, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes you just want to tell him to shove it. So, thank you Jon Picou. You said what we were all feeling in our hearts. This is from Simmons’ latest mailbag on’s Page 2.

Q: So in other words, you were handed your lunch by your wife making football picks, proceeded to rave about Miami for six days, ignored the Colts because you’re such a pathetic homer, met Tom Brady, which led to damp stains underneath, then got your ass kicked in a go-kart race by another woman and a cheesy Hollywood schmuck. You just earned pole position as the star of the next Vagina Monologues.–Jon Picou, Paradise

SG: I’ve been waiting to run that e-mail for two months. One of the better mean-spirited slams I’ve ever received.

Here’s another hilarious comment from Jason in Richmond:

Q: Why do I get the feeling that in about five years there will be a Buster Olney-esque book about the “Last Night of the Patriots Dynasty” written by Michael Smith. –Jason, Richmond, Va.

SG: See, this is what happens when I wait three months to write a mailbag. In January, this was a valid question. Then the AFC runners-up landed Adalius Thomas, Wes Welker, Donte Stallworth and Kyle Brady, franchised Asante Samuel and managed to keep the Nos. 24 and 28 picks in next month’s draft without losing a single valuable player from last year’s team other than Daniel Graham, who couldn’t catch a ball in traffic to save his life. I mean, their biggest crisis of the offseason was the star quarterback’s ex-girlfriend pulling the goalie on him. (The lesson, as always: Don’t date an actress.) Meanwhile, San Diego ushered in the Norv Turner Era, Miami lost Nick Saban, Pittsburgh lost Bill Cowher, the Bengals refused to clean house, Indy lost a number of key players and nobody else in the conference improved except Denver. I am EXCEEDINGLY optimistic about the 2007 season. So there.

So there you have it folks, Bill Simmons is a fan clearly in denial. And yes, should he choose to write it, I will be the first in line to buy that book by Michael Smith. The many parallels between the Yankees/Red Sox and Patriots/Colts are creeping me out. Here’s the rest of his mailbag:

Pats sign LB Adalius Thomas

March 3, 2007

The Patriots made a big splash in free agency today by signing former Baltimore Raven Adalius Thomas. Thomas will turn 30 this summer before ever playing a down for his new team. Thomas is older than 45 of the 53 players on the Indianapolis Colts roster.

As we all know the way to improve in the NFL is to sign aging veteran players with huge price tags. They also signed 35 year old Jaguar TE Kyle Brady and RB Sammy Morris who turns 30 this month. Congratulations to New England! One more free agent and you’re officially the Redskins.

Updated: Ron Borges from the Boston Globe seems to agree: